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Nothing makes me feel worse than putting on a pair of jeans that used to feel good all of a sudden feel tight. Not just an ordinary “snug”, but the type of fit that you have to hook the belt loops with your fingers and jump up and down just to get them on. Yeah. That was me.

For the past several days, I have been doing AWESOME with my eating. All healthy, whole-foods have been going in my mouth. But, every now and then I get a craving. Today it was some chocolate chip cookies (nooked for a few seconds) that I made the other day. Now, on the bright side they were healthy cookies – made with whole wheat flour and no fat added (but for the chocolate chips). No, really. They are a healthy alternative to the real thing with only about 60 calories each. Then, I ate some cheese whale crackers. I don’t know how many. I ate them straight from the box. Honestly, who really measures their food into a bowl?! Okay, I know…lots of people do. Especially those who want to lose weight!!!

When I am at home, which is ALL the time, I lounge around in my sweats…very comfy…and forgiving! I usually only wear one pair of jeans, and if I have worn them a few times without washing they are nice and stretched out and fit really good! This afternoon I put on a pair of washed jeans. Yup. Now my skin is pinched and my legs look like sausages in their casing. Very attractive!

This motivates me to keep up my healthy eating. I don’t just want these pants to “feel good”, I want them to be TOO BIG! I want to throw them away. Well, I don’t know if I will throw them away. I am kind of attached, and no, I don’t mean because I can’t get them off! I am attached because I used to be much bigger than I am now. I mean BIG. When I started losing weight, I went to the store to buy some jeans. I tried these on because it had been so long since I could wear this size. I was so excited when I was able to put them on in the fitting room! So, these have sentimental value, and on some level they are a gauge for me. When these pants start getting too tight, I know I am getting too big. Hence – tight jeans motivation technique.

I am going to wear these pants every time I need to go somewhere to remind myself that I have to make them too big. I promise to wash them regularly so they don’t get too stretched out into the comfort zone. Plus, when my pants are too tight, I tend not to overeat…there is not enough room left for my stomach to stretch! Good thing I have on a big sweatshirt to hid my enormous muffin top!

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I have 3 daughters. My oldest two constantly fight, bicker, and argue. Constantly. When they see each other first thing in the morning, and when they see each other after school. When we are eating dinner, right before we go to bed. Sigh.

This morning it was about my middle one not wearing tights with a skirt. The older one said it would look better – second one said it wouldn’t. First one told second one not to roll her eyes. Fight ensues.

I am at my wit’s end with all the nonsense. How do I keep these two kids from all this stupid crap?! All I know to do is ground them from their phones until I stop hearing them argue. They are 16 and 14.

Please help.

So this was really interesting to me. I noticed that there were several people who were interested in my post about addiction, but were probably disappointed in it. After all, it was not a very serious post, and did not really address addiction in a methodical way. It was just me rambling about how I like to eat food, basically. Kinda. So after some thought, I was interested in learning about food addiction for real, and did a Google search on food addiction and Overeaters Anonymous (OA).

This is a real concern for many people. Food addiction and overeaters are treated in the same manner as alcoholics and those with drug addictions. I wanted to find out if I was a candidate for being an overeater, and found a questionnaire on the website. It is a series of 15 questions, and they say if you answer “yes” to three or more of the questions, then you probably have a problem with food. I thought I would share the questions and my answers with you all.

Here goes…

  1. Do you eat when you’re not hungry? Yes. I eat when I am bored. Usually in front of the tv, and when I am alone.
  2. Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason? Sometimes I can’t help myself. It will start with a little something, and then I am raiding the cabinets, and feel myself getting upset if I can’t find what it is I am craving.
  3. Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating? Almost all the time! I feel so guilty and ashamed, that I usually throw the wrapper away at the bottom of the trashcan so no one will know what I ate.
  4. Do you give too much time and thought to food? When I am dieting. I try to plan healthy meals when I am trying to lose weight, so I am thinking about it a lot then. And, because I am not eating what I really want (i.e. junk food) I am thinking about that, too.
  5. Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone? I don’t think I look forward to it. It just happens at around the same time of day, and only when I am alone. When my family is home, I don’t miss eating alone.
  6. Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time? No. They are not planned, and usually, I will try to talk myself out of them. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t.
  7. Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone? No. Like I said, I don’t secretly desire to eat a bunch of crap. It just happens, usually, when I am bored.
  8. Is your weight affecting the way you live your life? Not necessarily. Sure, it would be easier to exercise, and I would have more self esteem, but it does not effect my day-to-day activities.
  9. Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall short of your goal? Always! that is why I am still overweight!
  10. Do you resent others telling you to “use a little willpower” to stop overeating? No, because not many people tell me that. The only one who does is my husband. It gets a little irritating because he has never had a weight problem…he just doesn’t understand.
  11. Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet “on your own” whenever you wish? I do think I can diet on my own. I have never really tried with anyone else, because I don’t have many overweight friends, and everyone I live with is not overweight.
  12. Do you crave to eat at a definite time, day or night, other than mealtime? Yes. I know that my cravings come around 10:30 – 11:30 in the morning. If I am going to binge, that is the time it will happen. I do not crave to eat at other times except meal time.
  13. Do you eat to escape from worries or trouble? Nope. I eat when I am bored and watching TV by myself. In the mornings.
  14. Have you ever been treated for obesity or a food-related condition? Nope.
  15. Does your eating behavior make you or others unhappy? It only makes me unhappy because I know I am not helping my esteem, my body, or my health. I think secretly my husband wishes he had a wife with a figure, but he doesn’t say it directly to me.

 

If you are interested in taking this quiz yourself please go here. Or you can learn more about OA by visiting their main website, Overeaters Anonymous.

Puggies!

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A post about my dogs. Any dog owner or lover knows that your dogs are a part of your family. They are really like my other kids. I cook for them, sleep with them, talk to them, and spoil them rotten. That’s what I do. That is Biscuit (my baby boy) on the left, and Duffy (the goofy girl) is one the right – with her tongue hanging out…yeah, I know! In her defense, though, it was very windy that day. SmileDuffy is 6, and Biscuit will be 6 in February.

 

All dogs have their little quirks, but I think Pugs, especially, are a bit quirkier than other dogs. Take Biscuit for instance: He will not drink water from inside the house. This is a real issue when the weather is cold, and his water outside is frozen. But more than that, he will only drink the water from one of those saucer things that go below a clay flower pot. I have tried putting his water in a bowl, but he will only sniff and run away. He also runs away from his poop, but that is for another post…Anyway, the water thing doesn’t just end there. If his saucer is too close to the house he won’t drink from it. It has to be below the tree outside. I am not sure what is going on, but I think his depth perception may be a little off, and is why he will only drink from the saucer.

You see, in 2008 he had is right eye removed. Sad smile He had a deep scratch in it that would never heal, and it ended up having to be removed. I know that sounds really sad, and I was very sad, but he felt SO much better after it was outta there! He was in so much pain. Before the eye removal, however, the doctor tried another technique to try to save the eye, but it just didn’t work. What they did was take part of his inner eyelid (dogs have two sets of eyelids) and pulled it over the scratch to help promote healing. Fail.

The surgery:

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It is pretty gruesome, and it broke my heart to see him like this. He was also in so much pain. Poor little guy. In the next picture, you can see that although his eye is gone, he felt SOOOOO much better! Just look at the BIG smile!!! Yes, dogs DO smile!

Eye removal:

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Doesn’t he look so much happier! Smile That was all 2 years ago, and all the hair is grown back, and it is barely noticeable anymore.

Today:

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Awwww, my fat boy! Love!!! Please take notice of the weeds…that is how I roll! Not really, it is now really pretty and in the summer and spring I have lots of pretty flowers there. Smile

 

Anyway…I really digress! I think his missing eye makes him a little leery of bowls that are too deep. BUT, that doesn’t explain why he refuses to drink water from inside the house or even too close to the house….

Why did I share this with you so randomly? Because I felt sad for him this morning when he could not get a drink of water. I don’t know what to do about him! I will create another post about Duffy later…she deserves her own post, too!

Do you like to hear dog tales? Do you own weird dogs, do they have any strange habits? Would you be interested in knowing what I feed them? They are both vegetarian and get home cooked meals.

IT’S FINALLY HERE!

The Happy Herbivore Cookbook! Wheee! I have been following The Happy Herbivore for quite some time now – a few years, at least. I basically started following her after I read Eat to Live, and tried to modify my diet. I was already vegetarian (for 10 years now!), and had been thinking of going vegan (many tries, but just as many fails) when I found the book. The book also suggested to cut fat out of the diet except for natural fats like nuts and avocados. HH was doing the same thing!

When I found out she was putting out a cookbook I was SO excited! I had tried a few of her recipes before and had bought her e-cookbooks, but I wanted MORE! Today – I have more! And the book is so beautifully made! The pages are nice and glossy, and there are lots of pictures (score!)!

One thing you do not know about me is that I have a cookbook addiction as well as many others…see posts below. I literally have filled up about 3 shelves of my bookshelf in the kitchen, and that is after clearing out the ones I did not want. I heart cookbooks. love.

Tonight was Buddha’s Delight, and it did not fail! Bonus – nothing has any added fat, so it naturally keeps calorie count low! Yay! Good food for minimal calories? Yes, please! My dinner tonight: 179 calories (plus however many cals are in 1/2 cup of brown rice).

What is this, anyway?!

So I am really trying to figure out what kind of blog this is. My title kind of sums up my life, but do I really focus much on my life as a wife, mom, or student on here? Not really. I mostly focus on my mood about food and losing weight. So, does that mean it is a weight-loss blog, healthy eating blog, fitness blog, etc.? I don’t know. Mostly, I think it is just a place for me to get out my frustrations, and hold myself accountable for what I eat and how much when I exercise.

 

If I am truly going to hold myself accountable, then I need to tell you what I had to eat yesterday. The past couple of days have been a bit upheaved because one of our cars is in the shop, so I have been taking Husband to work – about a 30 minute drive if the traffic is clear. Yesterday morning when I got back from dropping him at work, I wasn’t very hungry. I thought I would be able to skip breakfast and go straight into lunch. However, around 10:30 I started getting massive hunger pangs. I ended up inhaling eating 2 Kashi 7 grain waffles with crunchy pb and lite syrup. After that I was still hungry (because I literally ate them in about 1 minute flat!) and ate half a sleeve of saltines with more pb. Needless to say, I felt extreme guilt afterwards and totally skipped lunch. Then, to make matters worse I also skipped dinner. I know that is an awful thing to do, and it is so bad for keeping up metabolism and all that other stuff, but that is what I do to myself. Around 8:00, while watching Idol (love!), I got hungry. I sat and thought for a long time about what I wanted. Ice cream sounded divine! Thankfully, I talked myself out of that and opted for an apple and string cheese. A little moong dal (fried Indian crunchy, salty snack thingies) came next. But I stopped there. Although my food was not optimal yesterday, I did end up losing 0.4 pound! I am happy for the weight loss, but disappointed in myself for how I lost it. Onto better eating today.

 

As far as exercise goes, I was scheduled to run yesterday, but never mustered up the energy. Obviously. I mean really. With such great fuel inside me yesterday, it is a real shocker!

Addictions

I started reading “The Pleasure Trap” last night. I’m hoping it will help me overcome my food additction. Yes. I do believe in food addiction. Like drugs, tobacco, and alcohol, food is a substance that is also abused. The Big Food companies are our suppliers. They lace the food with tasty things like fat, salt, and sugar that makes it hard to not return to when we need a fix of something that makes us feel good, happy, or whatever emotion you may need at the time. I am only on the third chapter, and the chapters so far are short, but it makes sense. I have still yet to determine if it will help me figure out what is going on in my mind and body that creates a disconnect to having a healthy relationship with food. The verdict is still out.

My other addiction – the scale. Now, I know that I am not as addicted to the scale as others, but I still feel a need to weigh everyday, and feel disappointed if it does not go down. I know it is not realistic to lose weight every single day, and I also realize that sometimes it will go up slightly. This is just normal bodyweight fluctuations. However, weighing everyday seems to help keep me motivated.